Monday, November 19, 2007

Wedding season

My colleague sighed and said, "I seem to be at the age when all my friends are getting divorced." "That's funny," I said. "I'm at the age when all my friends are getting married."

On our fridge at the moment are 6 wedding invitations. And that is not counting the two I have been to in the last 6 weeks. It's wedding season in Hobart.

I love weddings, and am prone to tears during the ceremony. I was at one wedding where I cried more than the bride's mother. She had to hand me a tissue.

The wedding I went to last Saturday night was excellent. Apart from the usual wedding pleasures of watching the joy on the faces of the bride and groom, drinking sparkling wine, eating a nice meal, getting to know the people on my table and laughing at the speeches, this wedding had the bonus of spotting some of the best (worst) haircuts in Hobart.

I spent the evening fantasising about taking the microphone to start the ceremony for the Best Hair Awards. Starting with the minor awards. Most Faded Perm, Most Colours on One Head, Most Skillful Application of a Hair-Stying Appliance, Best Moustache, Bushiest Eyebrows and Furthest Receded Hairline. Then moving on to the Major Achievements.

The Best Mullet goes to(envelope please)... The Best Man. In recognition of his full Billy Ray Cyrus, short up front with cascading curls down the back.
The Best Female Mullet goes to... The Best Man's Wife. A complementary version of small tight curls, with blonde highlights in the long back bit.
The Best Female Hairpiece goes to... The Old School Friend on Table 9. She told me in the toilets, "I got this for me wedding last year. Bloody cost me three hundred bucks, so I like to wear it whenever I can."
The I-Can't-Believe-The-80's-Are-Over Award goes to.... The DJ. We will be interviewing the DJ after the ceremony, to find out how he gets his hair so high and feathery.

It was a wonderful night, and I caught the bouquet!



Weddings are a weird ritual where everyone has spent way too much money on food and clothes and gifts and no one looks like themselves and people cry for completely irrational reasons and everyone drinks too much because it's free and someone always does something horrifyingly embarassing and then usually it's the last time the bride and groom are actually happy. (but maybe I'm just cynical)

Menchuvian Candidate said...

I'm glad you had a good time; I'm also glad I wasn't there, as then you would have to add another category: Most Obviously Proud to have Washed *and* Brushed Own Hair on the Same Day.

I love weddings. I read someone once describing them as occasions where everyone pretends to be richer and better looking than they really are, but, heck, why resist joy?

Ann said...

oh so funny!! Weddings do seem to drag out all the weirdos.

my favorite part of your post is actually the fact that it has only two labels...."mullet, weddings"

i think it actually made me snort a little.

Kelly Malloy said...

Congrats on the bouquet catch!

WORDofRYE said...

Oh NO! Not MULLETS?!! And of the "male" and "female" variety, nonetheless!

Stella Devine said...

urban pedestrian is uncannily accurate, which I shouldn't say out loud since one of the invitations pinned to your fridge is mine (I hope). I am just trying to reconcile the idea of spending six months' of mortgage repayments in a single day with my innate cynicism. Ouch.

You've gotta watch those bouquet tosses! As my cousin reminded me the other day, I caught the bouquet at her wedding in 1998, and I'm the next to get married. Well, except for my brother and two of my cousins. These old superstitions are eerily accurate, don't you reckon?

Nerevised said...

Urban Pedestrian - I think that is one of the reasons that I cry. Because the bride and groom are so happy, and it is possibly the zenith of their happiness. (sorry Stella, except for you of course). Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, and all that.
Mechuvian Candidate - I'm also with you. "Why resist joy" indeed.
Ann - all snorts very welcome.
Kelly - thanks!
WORDofRYE - I wish I had photos. They had to be seen to be believed.
Stella - one of the invitations IS yours. I'll bring tissues.

Alynda said...

I love weddings, wish I had more to attend. ;)

You see some great things while you're there, that's for sure!