I am reading the Year Of Yes by Maria Headley at the moment. That, combined with my last blog entry, has led me to a theme of bad-date stories. None of which are about the Kiwi, please note. The night I met him was incredible, and a whole other story. I have a few more bad-date stories before I get on to the good ones - just like Maria. So this one is about a recent (young) lover, henceforth referred to as Gary-Go-Home.
I ditched him as soon as I discovered that he was only able to communicate by text message. I met him in a nightclub at the end of an extremely drunken night. My only defence is that he was pretty cute. I think. It was one of those nights. He asked for my phone number, and it is a miracle that I managed to get the digits in the right order.
Geography meant that this fling started at distance, and via text message. He was ok by text. He did ring me a few times, and was bad at talking on the phone, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and put it down to nerves. Inevitably we agreed to meet again, and alcohol was involved once again, so one thing led to another until:
GGH: Sorry hun, i'll msg u tomoro ok. i feel really bad x
N: What? Have you left?
GGH: yep. i feel terrible. thought you were crabby with me
N: Seriously... what? I went outside for a cig.
GGH: i didn't know that, i thought you were shitty. sorry i blew early i have just been that toey all day for you
N: I'm sorry you thought that. Oh well.
GGH: did u think i was any good?
N: You're obviously 20. I don't know if that answers the question. What do you think?
GGH: is that a yes? haha
N: It's not a yes...
GGH: you don't think i'm any good?
N: Why do you want to know?
GGH: na it doesn't matter. i just blew my load too quick hay lol
N: Actually, it has nothing to do with when you blew.
GGH: what was it to do with?
N: Too long an answer for a text!
GGH: lol ok
Lesson learned from Gary-Go-Home:
A cigarette can be more satisfying and last longer than a bad shag.