Friday, November 2, 2007


I am reading the Year Of Yes by Maria Headley at the moment. That, combined with my last blog entry, has led me to a theme of bad-date stories. None of which are about the Kiwi, please note. The night I met him was incredible, and a whole other story. I have a few more bad-date stories before I get on to the good ones - just like Maria. So this one is about a recent (young) lover, henceforth referred to as Gary-Go-Home.

I ditched him as soon as I discovered that he was only able to communicate by text message. I met him in a nightclub at the end of an extremely drunken night. My only defence is that he was pretty cute. I think. It was one of those nights. He asked for my phone number, and it is a miracle that I managed to get the digits in the right order.

Geography meant that this fling started at distance, and via text message. He was ok by text. He did ring me a few times, and was bad at talking on the phone, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and put it down to nerves. Inevitably we agreed to meet again, and alcohol was involved once again, so one thing led to another until:

GGH: Sorry hun, i'll msg u tomoro ok. i feel really bad x
N: What? Have you left?
GGH: yep. i feel terrible. thought you were crabby with me
N: Seriously... what? I went outside for a cig.
GGH: i didn't know that, i thought you were shitty. sorry i blew early i have just been that toey all day for you
N: I'm sorry you thought that. Oh well.
GGH: did u think i was any good?
N: You're obviously 20. I don't know if that answers the question. What do you think?
GGH: is that a yes? haha
N: It's not a yes...
GGH: you don't think i'm any good?
N: Why do you want to know?
GGH: na it doesn't matter. i just blew my load too quick hay lol
N: Actually, it has nothing to do with when you blew.
GGH: what was it to do with?
N: Too long an answer for a text!
GGH: lol ok

Lesson learned from Gary-Go-Home:
A cigarette can be more satisfying and last longer than a bad shag.



You're hilarious. I can't wait for the next installment and when you get even older you'll find about a zillion things that are better than a bad shag.

Killer said...

All this in a text message? Well, I guess he did not stick around for any awkward conversation after.

Mrs. G. said...

As a former smokerin my single days, I'm going to have to agree with you on that.

scrappinshawnni said...

Firstly thanks for the comments on my blog.

I loved reading this entry. It's so funny to read and yes also as an x-smoker I agree to.

Thanks for sharing

Trish said...

That's brilliant.